Life is hectic and crazy sometimes. Ok, let’s just be honest….life is mass chaos.
There are those moments (lately they come more often than not) when you just want to curl up in the very far corner of your closet and hide. In fact, I had one of those moments yesterday. There I was, hiding on the other side of the bed. On the floor. Crouched and avoiding eye contact with the toddler.
The baby, mid-growth spurt and hungry, had been crying uncontrollably for what seemed like the entire day. And then, right in the middle of my frantic search for the 2 year olds’ juice cup (which was conveniently irreplaceable by any other juice cup on the planet), I discovered the poop in the closet.
My body slumped to the floor and tears stung my eyes. Not because we were experiencing a potty-training relapse…although that didn’t help my condition. And not even because I knew I had to clean it up. I cried because I was tired. T.I.R.E.D. The kind of tired that no “Honey, I’ll do the dishes tonight” would help. Tired as in sheer mental exhaustion.
I needed to quiet my mind. I needed a Mommy Time-Out. Except when you’re the Mommy-On-Duty, there is no time-out. Just about the time you’re pretty sure you’ve solved all the toddler-drama in the world, the baby is hungry. Or dirty. Or just plain mad because he woke up without a pacifier. And so it begins again.
And in this moment, hiding behind my bed, it comes to my mind — didn’t God tell us in Matthew to come to Him when we are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give us rest? I know He did.
And God…I do come to You. I come every morning, emptying to You my transgressions, sharing with You my thankfulness, asking of You requests for health or guidance or peace.
Where is my rest, God?
But just as His word instructs us to come to Him in Matthew 11:28, it also instructs us that we must actively seek our peace.
“Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.” -Psalm 34:14
Have I been seeking peace? Or have I just been stringing my words & hopes together in my conversation with the Lord, and waiting for Him to hand me my peace all wrapped up in paper with a big, pretty bow? Friends, we cannot expect from God if we aren’t willing to give to Him.
Seek peace. Pursue it.
Just sit on those thoughts for a minute. Sure, He’s our heavenly Father. Sure, He loves us beyond imagination. But, He also wants us to seek Him. To fellowship with Him. To trust Him. To pursue Him.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” -Isaiah 26:3
Today, I came to the park on my lunch break. I spread out my sandwich alongside my Bible and my notebook, and I trusted that God would show me the peace that I so longed for. I took a step.
I actively pursued it, and Him.
I sought my peace, and I found it. The dogs stopped barking, a cool breeze blew through, and I felt God showing me how much He loves me. “Come to Me, my child” . . .
And I prayed. I prayed that God would show me how to find my peace – THIS peace – in my home life, in the every day and the mundane. And now, I will pursue it, and trust that He will provide. I know He will, because His word tells me so.
“The peace of Christ must control your hearts – a peace into which you were called in one body. And be thankful people.” -Colossians 3:15